New Discoveries

So, we have moved on from the treadmill updates. It has now become a part of my training regimen. I have even added myself to my wife's "health club" membership so I can run whenever I need to. It all still grosses me out and the list of shit I hate about "health clubs" grows or is reinforced every time I go (many times it is reinforced by stuff I do, but that is neither here nor there.) Anyway.

What "new discoveries" do you speak of, you ask? I have discovered that I am trimming down with all this new activity. I am not really "losing weight" - at least not that I can say for certain because I have a tendency to weigh myself when I am totally dehydrated and that is never accurate. "How are you so sure you are 'trimming down?'" you ask. It has nothing to do with how my clothes fit or comments from other people. You know, let me walk you through my discovery.

At night as I am getting ready to go to bed I probably do the same thing most everyone else does - take off my clothes, put on some pajamas of some sort, take a fist full of pills (whatever is lying around or has colors that match my pajamas) and brush my teeth. (I probably pee somewhere in there, too, followed by very thorough hand washing, but you aren't really interested in that.) I typically just wear pajama pants - I got these really kick-ass ones at Costco for like ten bucks, but I digress. So, as I am brushing my teeth I am staring at myself in the mirror and thinking the usual guy thoughts, "Damn, I really should do some 'manscaping,'" "I can't believe how gray my chest hair is getting," "Is one of my nipples higher than the other?" "Why do I even have nipples?" And as I am lost in my thoughts I start the absentminded old-guy scratching and picking. Inevitably this leads to me swirling a finger around inside my belly button. I usually have some lint that has accumulated throughout the day, so it tends to be a productive endeavor. No one wants a dirty belly button.

On many of these occasions I ponder the risk of sticking my finger too far in and poking a hole in my stomach and then wondering if my guts would spew out like a fountain of strawberry jelly or if I would just start to fly around the room backwards like someone letting the air out of a balloon. But recently I realized that my finger was "bottoming out" a lot sooner than it had in the recent past. I wondered, "Is this true? Is my belly button filling with lint that I have been inadvertently packing in there for years? No, it looks clean. Is my belly button trying to escape? No, that is just silly. Does this mean that my belly button is no longer the deep well of oral hygiene distracted fun it once was?" Keep in mind that as I am pondering all these questions I am still brushing my teeth and my finger is still in my belly button (just in case it is trying to escape.)

Then it hit me. My belly button has not changed! The flabdomen material surrounding it has begun to decrease! I have tested this hypothesis over many evenings and I do believe that I am losing some of that frustrating spare tire (now when I say "spare tire" I am referring to more of a spare road bike tire or, probably more accurately, a mountain bike tire rather than a car tire or a truck tire or, heaven forbid, one of those big dumptruck tires.) It looks like all this activity might be paying off. It might mean I need to buy new clothes again. I hope I can find some kick-ass jeans at Costco.

A Special Hug

It has been hot here in Minnesota. Unseasonably hot. Firing pots hot. Smelting iron hot. Two days ago we topped out at 97 degrees. Yesterday we topped out at 93. Both were record highs. Three days ago it was 81. A week ago it was 62. Right now it's 64. Most of the time I hate the heat. Especially when it comes on suddenly. This time though I decided to take advantage of the heat. Embrace the heat. 

That embrace became one of those hugs that linger just a beat too long and make both parties feel uncomfortable and awkward. 

Tuesday, (three days ago) we did our usual run. We are in taper so it was short with some sprints at the end. We went around Lake Harriet two times and it took until the second time for us to get some zip back in our legs from the previous week's long run. For me the sprints felt amazing and fast. It was humid and the sweat was a flyin'. That night my lower legs were killing me. Ugh. I hate that feeling. 

Yesterday was a double. I swam with Masters early in the morning and then went on a bike ride with MS and CS. The swimming helped my legs feel much better. It was another hard workout - IM day with 200, 300 and 400 IMs. I felt good throughout and made the intervals, but could tell I was tired. I got home, got the kids on the bus, ate too little and drank too little, took the dog to school, came back home, loaded the bike in the car and drove to MS's house.

Along with the heat we have had crazy wind both Tuesday and Wednesday. Like steady 15 miles an hour with 30 - 40 mile an hour gusts. Needless to say this made the ride rather challenging as we were riding at odd angles battling the cross-winds. But it went well. 24 miles at an easy pace. We were really just spinning to get the legs loosened up and spend some time in the saddle. Nothing really hard with the marathon coming up in a week and a half. After the ride I hopped in my car, drove home, took a shower, drank too little and ate too little, ran some errands and then went to get the dog from school. Got home, had dinner, then it was off to soccer for F. I was exhausted. Stood around at soccer talking to parents and cheering on F and then home to watch the end of American Idol and then to bed later than I wanted. All along I have a light sweat going because it is so damn hot and I tend to be a sweater - but I hide it well. (Or maybe I don't - someone please tell me if I am becoming "The Sweaty Guy." OK - thanks.)

I slept OK but was still hot so I imagine I sweated during the night. (Not like night sweats, don't worry.) ("GOD, WILL YOU MAKE A POINT!" I am sure you are screaming right now.)

Today was another easy six mile run. It was humid and a little rainy, but nothing to write home about. I was kind of tired, but got up as usual, drank a large glass of Accelerade and ate half a Clif Builder bar as usual and went off to run. 

About a mile into the run I was experiencing weird things with my vision. I have had migraines and it was not at all like that. I was hot and sweating because it was still pretty humid. There is a water fountain ("bubbler" for anyone in Wisconsin) at mile two so we stopped. Sometimes a stop is all I need to reset the engine timing so I thought this would help. We started running again and I was not feeling right at all. Spacey, still had the weird vision thing, hot, HR too high, working too hard for the easy pace, legs were kind of crampy and felt like jelly. I called it off. We turned around and started walking back - stopped at the water fountain again and eventually started running very easy just to get back quicker. 

I think I was running totally dehydrated with whacked out electrolytes. I don't know if I have ever felt that before. It was a little freaky. The rest of the day I am taking it relatively easy. Certainly no workouts today or tomorrow and pumping the fluids and NUUN. Luckily it's cooler today and more seasonal. Next time I will embrace the heat a little more gingerly and not throw my arms around it and grab it's ass like I did this past week. Better to have this happen in training than on race day, right?

UPDATE - Lost the unsightly tuft of man-fur today. Waxed. The experience makes the scene in "40 Year Old Virgin" all the more funny. I only had a small area deforested but it FRICKING HURTS. I didn't cry or squeal, but I had to grit my teeth and flinched with every pull. I am glad I don't have to have large swaths taken care of. (And "No" I am not going to provide pictures. Some of you people are freaks!)