Catch up

So, everyone does those end of the year recaps followed by resolutions or goals for the new year. I like to read other people's recaps, but I think mine would just be a bunch of bullshit. Besides (as someone already pointed out) if you read my blog you don't need a recap. And I have kind of listed out my goals already so that would be a bunch of bullshit, too. (In case you didn't realize it, one of my goals is to use as much foul language as possible in every blog post even if it appears that I might have Tourettes when I type, cocksucker bitch whore. Not really, but it sure seems that way.)

I haven't posted much for the last couple of weeks what with my complete and utter dislike of the holidays and with the kids being home from school. Let me catch you up.

We decorated for Christmas and that fucking Empire is everywhere. I am starting to not like those guys.


(F would correct me and point out that that is, in fact, a clone trooper and not actually part of the Empire, yet.)

F had his school Christmas concert. (E's was earlier and I am not sure why we don't have any pictures of her.) Notice his fashionably disheveled look and the way he wears his belt rakishly off to the side. So fashion forward.


Joy of joys! My kids learned to snowboard! Here is E carving on her heel edge (actually she probably fell there, but I like to imagine it as the perfect heel edge turn.)


Here is F also executing a perfect heel edge carve.


My Grommets!


The best part was after their third lesson the three of us went snowboarding together. (I took a refresher lesson and found that I didn't forget much.) I can not remember the last time I had so much fun with my kids. I was so proud of them. We went again the next week and I might lobby for a Colorado vacation next year.

Of course presents were exchanged. Nothing too exciting for the kids or A. (This is my blog so who cares about what they got anyway, right?) I got some cool ones and some strange ones.

Cool Ones


I have to admit this was on my list. I was only half joking when I put it on there, but I was totally excited when I opened it. I haven't put it together yet. I promised the kids they could help. I also need to put all the Christmas decorations away so there will be room on the mantle for it when it's done. (Just kidding, honey!)

(No, I'm not kidding.)


I got this one, too. The funny part about this is that the price sticker already said "Willis Tower." (It was renamed like a month ago.)


I put this one together already. It is prominently displayed on my dresser. (Notice all the people in that post card staring at it in amazement.)

A got me these:

Now the whole family has snowshoes. We are planning to go to my aunt and uncle's cabin sometime this winter so we will have an opportunity to use them.

Strange Ones



WTF!?

I don't think I ever indicated a desire to kill my wife and a "friend" of her's so I am not sure where the idea for these came from. They went back to "fucking Macy's." I hate that place so much I returned them and then was bound and determined (with the kids in tow) to get something else so I wouldn't have to return. I looked for a sweater, a duvet cover, underwear - nothing! Then I decided on this:



Perfect!

There. Now you are all caught up from my last couple of weeks. On to all the new excitement of 2010.

Another Christmas Finnism

Playing "Christmas Carols ABCs." (This is a car game we play where you name something - in this case, Christmas Carols - that start with each letter of the alphabet.)

A: "A"
E: "Angles We Have Heard on High."
A: "B"
Me: "Baby, It's Cold Outside."
A: "C"
F: "Cram It All In There."

Post-holiday Eliseism

E - "Ugh, it broke!"

Me - "What's wrong, honey?  What broke?"

E - "I am trying to make an R2-D2 dreidel and it just broke!"

A gives me a quizzical look.  

(We are not Jewish and Hanukkah is over.)

Droidel, droidel, droidel

What The Kids' Got For Christmas

Smarty McSmartypants and his sister, Know-it-all McSmartypants knew they were getting a Wii for Christmas and even knew the box.  ("That is totally a Wii, that is the shape of a Wii box.  That is the first box we are going to open.  I know that is a Wii!  I know it!  I know it is!") Weren't they surprised when they opened this:

(Yes, that was a brick.)

I was bound and determined to make the little monsters suffer for at least a few minutes, but A took one look at F's devastated face and sent them to the basement where it was all set up and ready to play.  

Thank God That's Over II

Thank God Christmas and the season of gluttony is finally over.  No more presents and no more massive quantities of food.  Let me amend that, more presents and food at my mom's house tomorrow, but small in comparison to what has taken place since Thanksgiving and especially the last few days.  With the kids off of school I have been thrown a little off my schedule so I feel like I have not been getting in the workouts I need.  Next week they are still around but it will be much calmer as we will not be traveling and New Year's will be a relatively calm affair with friends.  I plan on getting on my bike/trainer and picking up the weights again.

I can not believe how much crap we have now acquired.  (Thank you to everyone for all the presents.  I am in no way suggesting that the thoughtful gift you gave is "crap," it is all the other presents that people gave us that are "crap".  Your gift is perfect!)  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE "crap" as much as the next person, but until it all finds a home, it feels cluttery and like we have a bunch of "crap".  

I am happy to say that I received the items below:

The flashlight is from E and the other items were stocking stuffers from A.  I gave A a nice, warm robe (we weren't supposed to give each other gifts, but I couldn't help myself) and I encouraged her to buy herself a North Face down parka in a girls size large which, by the way, costs half the price of the women's version.  It fits perfectly.  Sometimes, it pays to be petite.

At the in-law's house we had our traditional dinner Christmas meal complete with birthday cake for Jesus.

I ate so much that I had heartburn so bad it kept waking me up.  Ah, mission accomplished.  Now I can start working it all off.  Yippee!

My new Christmas plan

I have a plan for Christmas that I have been developing over the last couple of years. We probably spend a couple of hundred dollars on each of the kids on a variety of toys. These toys are inevitably the "thing I have wanted all my life" and bring mere minutes of amusement before they are cast aside to be moved from one place to another by me or A until they finally end up at Goodwill or in the garbage.  

So here is what I am going to do.  I am going to give each kid two one-hundred dollar bills and a small box of matches.  Then I am going to have each of them invite over a bunch of their friends.  With their friends around them in a circle on the driveway, each of my children will get to hold a hundred dollar bill and light it with a match.  I figure there will be as much excited squealing and intense interest in this as there has been in any of the presents we have gotten for them.  It's all very neat and tidy and we won't have to mess around finding the perfect thing (which doesn't exist anyway) then carting it off to the land of mis-used toys (also known as Goodwill.)

It won't happen this year, but one year I will be satisfied.