Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Pits

This stems from an IM conversation my sister and I had. It for sure fits in the TMI category, but what the hell, right?

Anyone who's read this blog probably doesn't need to be reminded that I am a heavy sweater. It's particularly bad when I am training. I'll lose 8 pounds in a warm 2 hour bike ride. Easily. And a long run, forget it. I can lose that and more, when you add in the liquid I take in. Now when I am sitting around I don't sweat more than the average person. With the exception of my arm pits. (I warned you - TMI!)

It's nowhere as bad as this guy, but it's annoying and - especially in the no undershirt weather of summer - unsightly. I can feel the sweat start to trickle down my sides and it drives me nuts. (Totally gross, right? I KNOW!) So I have been using this "clinical strength" antiperspirant for awhile now and it's a total scam! It's more expensive, there is less of it in the stick and it doesn't work!

Now technically I am not following the directions, but the directions run contrary to an average person's life. In the morning I take a shower, put on antiperspirant and get dressed. The directions on this product say to put it on at night. WTF!? I don't need to worry about this shit at night and what happens when I take that shower in the morning and wash it off? Now I am completely unprotected all day until I go to bed. Granted, the product isn't a complete failure - it just doesn't kick in until mid-afternoon, but by that time I have changed my shirt like five times and grossed out numerous people. I just don't get it. I am lucky in the fact that I'm not stinky. In fact, I have a tendency to smell just like mountain prairie flowers. Or bacon. Both of which are acceptable odors to emit in my estimation. (And yes, I have checked and double checked with my wife to make sure that I actually don't stink and it's not just that I am used to my "perfume.")

So, I continue to struggle with my affliction and I now wonder about the people who have read this entire post. You were given warnings and opportunities to turn away, but you stayed with it to the end. What kind of sick individuals have I cyber-befriended? (Apparently the best kind of individuals who have no problem ridiculing me and my handicaps in the comments section. Have at it!)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

One Week

I have been procrastinating writing a new post for a while, but the time has come to get it out. The last few weeks have been a little emotionally draining, but that kind of shit is boring. So as to not leave you all hangin' - everything is fine. It was potential work stuff, combined with some hard training and rainy days, but now the sun is out, it's been oppressively hot and I leave for Hawaii in one week.

In order to keep my mind off my misery (not really, but kind of, maybe a little - and tapering doesn't help) I have been obsessing about my trip to Hawaii to race the Rohto Honu Ironman 70.3 Half-Ironman Triathlon Endurance Race (or whatever the fuck they are calling it.) I've been creating my packing list, reviewing it, double checking it and then editing it for typos. I've been cyber stalking a variety of people who I "know" but have never met to coordinate a time to meet. All while worrying that they will think/find out I'm some psycho/weirdo and slash my bike tires so they never have to see me again. (FYI - I am not "psycho" but some may consider me "weird" but that is related to said race.)

I'm not really that worried about peple not "liking" me. I am more worried that they will be disappointed that I don't wear rad horn-rim glasses, v-neck cable-knit sweaters and smoke a pipe. Or that I don't look like a hedgehog with bagpipes and a tamoshanter cap. I look just like your average, slightly less than middle-aged dad from Minnesota with a lot of Northern European ancestry. In other words: a particularly pale white guy with thinning hair. (Betcha can't wait to meet me now.)

So for the next week I will continue to rework my packing list, bother strangers via the interwebs, obsess about my weight and generally walk around like I have had one pot of coffee too many.

A little less training will give me more time to post on my blog. I'll try to find something interesting and not race related to keep it interesting.

Monday, May 10, 2010

What the hell!?

This is just a quick post to let everyone who used to read my blog know that I have not abandoned my blog, but have simply been too busy to take the time to post. This week is crazy busy with the culmination of a big project I have been working on and more work on another project that will hopefully wrap up sooner rather than later. I hope to start posting more regularly next week again, especially with Honu just under four weeks away.

Hopefully my tweets and FB posts will tide you over a bit longer.