(That title was again for Kiet, but I actually mean it this time.)
I swear this time I have a legitimate reason to be angry. Look at my house!
What the FUCK!? Where did this come from!?
It came from this son of a bitch! We can hear him pecking and it's driving us insane. (Some of us literally insane as my wife repeatedly answers the door thinking someone is knocking and then she blames it on some kids playing "Ding Dong Ditch" but replacing "Ding Dong" with "Knock Knock" even though it doesn't have nearly the same alliteration. The dog is not fooled and makes no move when he hears the pecking - "Stoopid humans.")
He has his fricking head in my house!
Here's the damage he caused in about 20 minutes of pecking.
(OK, truth be told we have tremendous dry-rot in those locations of our trim and it really needs to be replaced, but does nature have to rub salt in our wounds by making our place look so painfully ghetto that our neighbors are giving us dirty looks? Apparently so.)
I swear I can hear him as I write this.