Monday, November 17, 2008

I hope that you have learned your lesson

After running errands on Sunday afternoon I come home and A matter-of-factly announces she had to save F's life.  In an irritated voice she explained that he was eating lunch with his friend and was cramming (we are a family of crammers) his sandwich in his mouth and talking (which he never seems to stop doing) and laughing and he aspirated his lunch. 

I picture it going down this way - F is talking and laughing and standing at the table eating as fast as he can (the kid never sits down in a chair).  A warns him to stop cramming food in his mouth, but he keeps cramming, talking and laughing.  Then the talking and laughing stops. A looks over at F's eyes bugging out of his head, puts her hands on her hips, cocks her head, rolls her eyes, lets out a big sigh of exasperation and walks over him, spins him around and gives him the Heimlich.

Not this Heimlich                                 This Heimlich

Tangential story - My mom was an emergency room nurse when I was growing up and she would do training for the EMTs and first responders in our small town.  One night while she was teaching the CPR course she accidently referred to the Heimlich Manuever as the Heimlich "Removal".  Well, she couldn't get off of it and referred to it that way for the entire night.  To this day we refer to it as the Heimlich Removal just to make her nuts.

Tangential story II - Not really a story but a joke told by my dad who made every joke an Ole and Lena joke and told it in a "Scandihoooovian" accent.  Ole and Lena are having dinner with Sven when Lena starts to choke.  Sven gets all excited and runs to dial 911, but Ole remains calm and tells Sven, "No need to worry.  I know yust what to do."  So Ole grabs Lena, spins her around, pulls down her pants and licks her on the butt.  Lena lets out a giant cough and the piece of food she was choking on flies out of her mouth and across the room.  Sven looks at Ole, eyes wide in amazement, "Ole that was yust incredible! How did you know what to do?"  Ole replied, "I yust learned CPR - they call that the 'Hind-lick Manuever.'"

Back to the story - I only picture it going down that way because that is kind of the way A told it and that was kind of my reaction - eye-rolling, an exasperated sign and the phrase, "fricking kids."  Needless to say, I am never one to miss a "teaching opportunity."  For the rest of the day, every time I saw F eating something I felt compelled to remind him to be careful so mommy wouldn't have to save his life again.  It remains to be seen if he has learned anything.

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