Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Iron Lance

I don't think Lance Armstrong actually is getting surgery to fix a broken collarbone. Here is what I think is going on. He is getting the top secret military-grade advanced battery that is powering his heart turbocharger and bionic third lung replaced before he goes out of warranty. That cancer thing - yeah that was a scam. The battery was originally designed to last seven Tour de France wins and then keep him alive for another 65 years or so. When he decided to make his comeback they wanted to see how the current battery would react to the increased activity and they decided to crash him out now so they could replace it in time for the Tour. He'll come back faster, you can just bet on it. Broken collarbone, what a lame excuse.

1 comment:

Natalie said...

I think you missed your calling...forget designing! Start writing a sci-fi script based on your prediction. To protect your family since your conspiracy theory will become public, you can rename the character to Todd Armstrong and live out your fantasy of athletic prowress and glory!