Thursday, June 4, 2009

My Boy Discovers His Nuts

More accurately he discovers other boys nuts. 

Here is the scenario. Last night at soccer F is on the sideline as the other line is in. I step away from the action to talk to a buddy who is watching a different game on the field next to ours. I am not paying attention for like five minutes and I return to see F punching one of his teammates/classmates in the stomach and his coconspirator returning the favor. I immediately put a stop to this and ask F, "What are you doing?!" "We're trying to punch each other in the nutths." (He has a little lisp.) "Well, knock it off!" 

Seconds later A is at my side (she was on the other side of the field watching F and all his teammates take pot-shots at each other.) In an excited voice (read: yelling at me) she asks if I saw what was going on, F is hitting other kids, F is picking fights with kids bigger than him, etc., etc. In a calm, soothing voice (read: yelling back at her) I assure her it has all been taken care of, that the boys were just hitting each other in the nuts and it is all over now. Her response "Don't yell at ME!" Why do I always get in trouble for stuff my kids do?

After the kids are in bed I try to explain the whole situation. "Boys are dumb! They think hitting someone in the nuts is funny (there are whole TV shows based on just such a premise.) Hell, they think the word 'nuts' is almost as funny as 'poop'. Eventually every boy will actually get hit in the nuts. Hard. They will have that pain seared permanently into their avoidance system and then punching someone in the nuts will stop. As far as taking shots at a bigger kid - hey, F thinks he is on the same level as everyone else. I don't want to really change that perception as he is kind of fearless that way. Eventually he will mess with the wrong bigger kid and they will put him in his place or he will have to defend himself. Either way he'll learn and be fine. Bottom line - Boys are dumb!"

I don't know if I was particularly reassuring, but we at least got off the subject.

Then, to further emphasize my point I showed her this:

4 comments:

FLATOUT JIM said...

Gives new meaning to "FOUL BALL"

Wonder what the beer is like?

D said...

My buddies (at around age 25) all went to Disneyland. They spent a whole day punching eachother in the nuts and freaking out mother's all over the Happiest Place on Earthh.

To this day, they still hit eachother in the nuts with their beer bottles at parties, games, camping and bbq's. They are mostly in their mid-30's.

Charisa said...

Toooooo funny! I about fell off my chair at work!

Roo said...

So glad I don't have nuts, although the boys in my neighborhood all went through a tittie twister stage along with their nut punching stage. Not so fun for me.