Finnism (written)

It probably doesn't fully qualify as a "Finnism," but I get to make the rules. I'd like to point out one item that makes me laugh, but there are just too many. My kids are something "special."

Finnism

My sister: "F, which singers do you like? I bet you like Miranda Cosgrove, Demi Lovato, Salena Gomez. I bet you even like Justin Bieber."

F: "Just because I have long hair and I'm a boy does not mean I like Justin Bieber!"

Finnism

After getting eaten by mosquitoes and then hit in "the parts" by the teeter-totter and finally, flying on the swing, F announced:

"HEY MOM! I'M NOT PUNCTURING MYSELF!"

(Thank god, I don't think I brought enough patch kits to share.)

Finnism

F: "Dad, will you help me study the challenge spelling words?"
Me: "Sure. Do you need to study the main spelling words, too?"
F: "No. I'm familiar with those."

(Do seven-year-old, 2nd graders talk like this?)

Another Christmas Finnism

Playing "Christmas Carols ABCs." (This is a car game we play where you name something - in this case, Christmas Carols - that start with each letter of the alphabet.)

A: "A"
E: "Angles We Have Heard on High."
A: "B"
Me: "Baby, It's Cold Outside."
A: "C"
F: "Cram It All In There."

Christmas Finnism

"I believe in Santa Clause 100 percent. The reindeer - eh - only about 50 percent."

Finnism

F playing Mad Libs.

F: (reading) "What is 'past Tennessee?'"
Me: "Do you mean 'past tense?'"
F: "Yeah."

E: "Give me a noun."
F: "Fart"
F: "Hahahahaha! This is comedy gold!"

Death of a Thousand Cuts

Tears, actually.

E wasted no time in retaliating for F's opening salvo. Her strategy is pure genius and resorts to wearing the poor kid down by degrees. Infinitesimally small degrees. Her first shot was to tear his poster. Not off the door. Not in half. Just a tear large enough to be seen, but not enough to be considered intentionally malicious by a parent - namely, me.

F went ape shit when he saw the tear. (I was in his room preparing to read with him before bed and witnessed his reaction.) He claimed E did it on purpose. E feigned innocence and said that she did indeed tear the poster but it was an accident. F continued to protest that E did it ON PURPOSE. I decided to half believe E but told her to tape it back together.

To tell the truth, I have an ulterior motive - I want to see how this skirmish escalates because it is such entertaining blog fodder. With any luck this could be a protracted siege.

Battle of the Siblings

F has lobbed the first volley in the battle of the siblings. Apparently fed up with E's "shenanigans" he made up a "Wanted" poster and hung it on his door listing her "crimes."

I am awaiting E's retaliatory strike and I will keep you posted as the battle rages on.

(The poor kid spells like his mother.)

Elise/Finnism

In the car listening to the radio.

Me: "Hey, kids it's the new Miley Cyrus song."

F: "Ugh, we hate Miley Cyrus."

E: "Miley Cyrus is sooo over."

(Anyone want to buy a couple of front row tickets to the Miley Cyrus concert? Anyone? No? Damn it!)

Florida Finnism

After reading a poster for the pool party at Grandma and Grandpa's condo:

F: "The party is BYOB - Bring Your Own Boy. Grandpa, I will stand in for yours."

Finnism

Brushing his teeth this morning. I am in the shower.

F: "Dad, I thought only girls shaved their legs."

Me: "And boys who ride their bikes competitively."

(That is my story and I am sticking to it. Now, which pair of high heels to wear.)

Finnism

F: "The food is here! Where's my cocktail!?"

Finnism

F at the restaurant ordering a Kiddie Cocktail.

F: "Can I get a sword with cherries on it?"

Waitress: "We don't have swords, they are more like javelins."

Me: "That's fine. Just something for him to poke his eye out."

F: "I'm not going to poke my eye out." [To the waitress, now.] "He really knows nothing about my life."

Finnism

Me: "Don't let the bedbugs bite."

F: "'Bedbugs bite,' that's acliteration."

Me: "Don't you mean 'alliteration'?"

F: "B-B-B - When there are three, I call it 'acliteration.'"

So I have been saying it wrong all these years?

Finnism

F: "Apollo, you smell -- like "love."

Whew! Right now he smells like the exact opposite. What did we feed him?

Eliseism + Finnism = Dancing with the Star Wars

F and E were upstairs playing nicely together. A came down to report the conversation they were having.

E (with "glammed up" Princess Leia): "Time for the Star Wars prom. Leia, you dance with R2D2."

F: (with Anakin Skywalker): "Check out my new 'force-leap' dance move!"

I hope no one spiked the punch, or whatever they drink in Star Wars.

Finnism

F, eating dessert last night.

F: "Mmm, no evil in that cupcake."

Finnism

Me: "What kind of moon is it tonight?"

F: "A wakthing gibbouth."

(The boy has a little bit of a lisp, but damn is it cute.)

Finnism

Me: "Geeze, I have like three pairs of gloves in my pockets.  How did those get in there?"

F: "Maybe Hippies put them there. Or Hobos."

Hippies?

Hobos?