Just You Wait

I have been remiss in posting, but there is a good reason. Unfortunately, I can't reveal that reason right now. I will know more at this time next week and then I will have much to say. This has been keeping me busy and I'll be doing some travel in the next few weeks that will be blog worthy. (All you people I'll be visiting, you better make it funny and blog worthy or these relationships may not work. ;-)  )

Decisions and Goals

Now that I am 41 I have decided to make some decisions. That totally makes it sound like up to this point in my life I haven't made any decisions. While it may seem to many like that is true - I have realized I have no idea where I am going with this whole train of thought. So anyway. Decisions made, right.

I have decided to buy a big boy tri bike. Next year I will be riding a Cannondale Slice - I found a deal on a special build of their top end hi-mod carbon frame with some not quite as high end components. I opted for the kick ass frame with components I can upgrade as I need or want to. Payment is made, we are locked in.

I have also found a new coach. I had a different "coach" for a short while, but the program was kind of cookie cutter and I was having a difficult time staying motivated and staying with it. This new coach is totally going to kick my ass - at my request. Especially on the bike. We are getting started right away. I am running a 5K tomorrow so we can assess my fitness and get my heart rates dialed in and everything. Again, payment made, locked in.

Now, 2010 is going to be a huge year. It will culminate with IronMan Wisconsin (IronMoo or IMoo) in September, but between now and then I have a lot of work and some races to do. Without getting into specific races, as that schedule will require more thought, here are my initial goals. I will revise these periodically throughout the year as "things change" but, this is what I think right now.

• Half-marathon - sub 1:30 - there should be a few opportunities to make a run at this. I ran a 1:33 in spring 2009 without training specifically for that kind of speed, so I am pretty sure I can do this.
  
• Marathon - 3:20 or faster - this may not be on the schedule this year. With only a spring marathon and possibly no desire to train that hard at that time, we may just let this one go until 2011. (Or I could just run a 3:20 or faster in the Ironman marathon, use it as a two-fer. I am SO kidding about that - I just want to finish with clean shorts.)
  
• Sprint Tri - the definition and distance varies too much for a goal. This will probably depend on the actual race.
• Olympic Distance Tri - sub 2:15 - this is based on 2009's Lifetime Fitness Tri at which I took the world's longest pee break. Followed after the finish by the worst GI issues I have had to date. I think this goal is probably a little light and with a good nutrition plan should be able to smoke it.
  
• HIM Distance Tri - 4:45 - 5:00 - This goal also might be a little light as I bonked on the run and still came in at 5:02, but with better training and nutrition I should be able to smoke it.

All these goals depend on level of fitness and where I am in my training schedule. I will probably be doing some races that I have never done before, because of timing, cost and location so that might affect results. As you can probably tell, I am already excited to get moving. Patience, self. Patience.

I Used to Have Something to Say

Now I am just a sullen shell of my former self. Why? You may ask. Or perhaps you don't care and you are now moving on to some other site, because the potential for this post to become:

a) weird
b) boring
c) depressing
d) self-indulgent
e) long-winded
f) rife with hyphenated words
g) any combination - including "all" - of the above

is quite real and you just don't have that kind of time to waste. Or you don't care, but think there might be something funny. Or you do care and you are my mother.

After a brief chat with Natalie, I think I may know what my problem is. Or at least the problem that is contributing to this lack of something to say. (We all know I have many "problems" and I should be specific when I blame an action on "my problem" - but I digress.)

I have PESSD. "You just made that up!," you say. And in agreement I say, "Yes. Yes, I did." To which you, in turn, reply, "Well, what the hell does it stand for?" And I reply, in kind, "It means Post Endurance Sport Stress Disorder." You cock your head slightly to the side and sensitively respond, "You are an idiot." To which I respond, equally sensitively, "Touché."

Regardless of your feelings toward my made-up malady, my personality, endurance sports or acronyms I am quite sure my feeling of ennui is directly related to the end of my racing season with my completion of the Twin Cities Marathon, at which I did not develop bloody nipples or poo my pants, and watching the Ironman World Championships in Kona, during which I did develop sympathetic bloody nipples, saddle sores and explosive diarrhea - weird. These events were big milestones - the races, not the other "events" - and now I am on the steady decline to cold, darkness and snow. Riding my bike inside, lonely weight training and Christmas shopping. Really, can anything be more depressing? ("Yes. This post.")

I am determined to get over this dip in my mood. I have considered increasing my off-season training, but that will take time to build up so I don't injure myself. I have considered the use of prescription drugs - oh come on, I am already using prescription drugs. Really, who did I think I was fooling? I have considered illegal drugs, but I like to sleep too much to do meth and I already eat too much to smoke "the chronic" (How totally "street" did I sound right there?) So, what I have decided to do to help myself (because, frankly, none of you are any help) is pick an obscure topic and rant about it. Today's topic: Lanai v. Porch

There were many references to "sitting on the lanai" by people who were racing Kona, spectating at Kona or knew people doing either of those two things. At some point D made the observation that a "lanai," which sounds so tropical and exotic is really just a deck, patio or porch in the rest of the world. Good point, D! So as to not go off "half-cocked," but to be "fully-cocked" I did a little research. (I Googled "lanai." I truly meant "little research.")

First of all, Lanai is an island. The sixth-largest of the Hawaiian islands and known for growing pineapples. A "lanai" is defined as "an Hawaiian-style covered veranda or patio oftentimes furnished and used as a living room." So let's be clear, if it doesn't have a roof, it's a deck, patio or veranda. My mother-in-law has a condo in Florida. It's your typical high-rise condo built in the late 50's or early 60's with balconies hanging off the side and yet everyone refers to their balcony as a "lanai." This is just ridiculous. It has a "roof" only because there is another "balcony" above. You can fit, like, two lawn chairs on there - far from "furnished and used like a living room," and it's in fricking Florida! It has nothing to do with Hawaii!

SO. All you people (you know who you are) who feel it necessary to throw around the word "lanai" - you are all rétards. I bet when you're at home, if you called your falling-down rotting deck a "lanai" when your neighbors were over swilling your piss-warm PBR and eating grilled salmonella burgers, they would take off their seed company trucker hats and pummel you to within an inch of your sun-burned, washboard-ab sporting, super-fit life. Even in Hawaii a deck is still a deck! So knock it off!

NOW. Before you all get uppity and do a "little more research" and point out some obscure comparison, definition or crayon drawing of a veranda, patio, deck, porch or sun-room that looks remarkably like a "lanai" I will stop you and point out that I don't care. Remember when I made reference to the level of my "cocked-edness"? Well, the fact that I was "cocked" to any degree should be an indication that I am a a guy and as such, I prefer to believe only what my small brain can discern from one Google search. Let's not confuse the argument with more "facts."

Well, I feel much better. I can feel the endorphins rushing through my veins. The overcast skies seem brighter, the death-metal I am listening to sounds happier, the obnoxious holiday theme sweaters surrounding me are not quite as glittery and the "mom-jeans" I see around me are more "flattering", dare I say - sexy.

And with that it appears I have rediscovered my voice. I did have something to say. And I don't doubt that this post has inspired all of you to say something as well. (Something like, "You, sir, are a complete moron!")

Just give it time

So my last post had me concerned that I had a stress fracture and that I would never get enough time on the bike.  Well, I had that X-ray and I have a perfect tibia - no break , good news.  It must be a little bit of shin splints - bad news.  Stretching, Aleve and ice will have to do the trick.

I got on the bike for half an hour today.  I tucked the computer in the seat bag and strapped my old watch on the handlebar just to keep track of time.  A nice easy ride to get me started.  If I can do that at least a couple times a week and build up the time in the saddle, I should be good.

I just need to keep reminding myself to give it time.