"AAAAgggghhhh! AAAAgggghhhh! AAAAgggghhhh!" high-pitched, girl-shrieking from A as she is kicking at me. "AAAAgggghhhh! AAAAgggghhhh! AAAAgggghhhh!" high-pitched, girl-shrieking from me as I am startled awake by my wife kicking me and shrieking at me.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG?" I ask her.
"Oh, it's you! I woke up and couldn't figure out who was sleeping in the bed with me. (Zzzzzzz.)" She mumbles as she rolls over and goes back to sleep.
Yes, honey, it's ME. Your husband of twelve years who has slept next to you the vast majority of nights over those twelve years.
As I lay there with my heart pounding out of my chest, I realized it doesn't instill a lot of confidence in the impression I am making when my wife doesn't recognize me in our own bed.
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